Here we go –  more about emotion in writing:

In my last workshop session, I once again got margin notes indicating that I needed to add emotion.  I must be a slow learner.

This professor doesn’t mince words.  In one spot, he said, “Make your character speak like a 16-year old, humanize her or else the reader will close the book.”   He’s slap-you-in-the-face direct and admits it but says he knows we can take it.  We can.

In my revision.  I’m using more internal thought, and  I’ve eliminated some surface statements which do not show Tessa’s feelings.  If the reader doesn’t understand what she’s feeling, they won’t relate to her.

For instance, the day Tessa goes out the door to leave town with her sister, Claudine, and her mother, she wants to tell her stepfather, Luke, goodbye.  But, she doesn’t.  I don’t explain why nor do I give the reader the visceral sense of the scene.  As you can see, I have some deep revision to do.

By the way, I’d like to report that further along in this same chapter, the professor actually pointed out a few pages that he thought were “great. ”  He said what I’d written worked well because I’d not only let the reader see the scene, but the reader could also feel the emotion.  (Whew, it felt good to tell you something positive for a change. )

I hope my revision tips have been of some help.  Keep on writing.  I  write because I honestly don’t know how to stop writing.   It’s kind of like breathing for me.

And you?  Why do you write?

Lisbeth

I’ve got more writing tips.  The good news is that there weren’t as many pen marks on my manuscript at the second workshop.  There are two things I want to pass along.

1.  Let the reader SEE the scene.  In other words, show don’t tell.  I know you’ve heard these words over and over.  But let me give you an example.  In my novel Tessa and Claudine, Tessa is in the hospital and her Dad shows up.  Sounds fairly normal, right?  But it isn’t because she’s sixteen and hasn’t seen her dad since she was a toddler.  Her parents are divorced.  She’s a mess after an accident, and she;s shocked when he comes to visit her.  He’s about to leave, and I jump in and tell the reader why he’s leaving.    It turns out that this is a bad move.  I need to let the reader see the scene instead.  It’s better to  show the action, indicate just what the Dad is doing at this point  — after all he has to feel uncomfortable around her.

2.  Next tip.  Do not undermine the tension.  Okay, now I have a tense scene going.  Tessa’s Dad has just left her hospital room, and she hears a loud commotion in the hallway.  It’s her mother yelling and screaming her head off at her dad for coming to see the daughter he barely knows.  I slow the story down by throwing in a line about how the nurses tell her mother to keep her voice down.  (My workshop leader says NO, don’t do that, “It undermines the tension.”)    The  mother needs to walk into Tessa’s hospital room as if the confrontation with her dad never happened.  Great advice, I think.

I’m learning a lot by having my work critiqued and by listening to the critiques of others.  Stop in after my July workshop for more  tips.

Right now I’m spending hours revising my novel, but hey, it keeps me out of trouble.  It’s good and hot here in Savannah, but I love it.  I think those summers  growing up in Southern Illinois without any air conditioning prepared me for the hot, humid South.  

Happy writing to one and all.  And safe travels if you are hitting the road this summer.

Lisbeth